In a happy relationship becoming one with your partner is a fantastic thing. In such a situation though, it can certainly be a challenging mission to still be yourself and not to put yourself under him or under the unity of you two. Many people actually have the fear of loosing themselves in a relationship, they are afraid of forgetting who they really are, without the other one.
This is worth talking about. As this fear can block many things: for example, to start a relationship, or if you are already in one, to be able to completely give yourself in emotionally and from your soul to this relationship. Without loosing yourself, of course.
One of the critical points that I see is that there are couples who want to do everything together all the time.
This can be a good thing, if the two people have the same interests, energy level, mood, etc. at 100% all the time. This happens quite rarely, let’s admit.
In these symbiotic relationships one or the other party gives up something from themselves in order to do everything-together-all-the-time. In a relationship we need to compromise sometimes, of course.
However, if it becomes a daily routine that one person always gives up something from himself/herself, it directly leads to this person loosing the connection with himself/herself on the long run for sure.
If you would like to keep on being your own true self within a relationship, you need to have your “me-time”, as well as your partner.
When you can do things which are the interest of only one of you, you have the chance to move away from each other a little bit in the positive sense, and afterwards you can be happy to see each other again. Its extent depends on the given couple, you two need to talk about it, about how you can embed this in your life.
I have also seen various times that one person from the couple “took on herself” the hobby of the other person. Even though, she would have never been interested in those activities otherwise. In this case I am not talking about when she really likes the activity, but when she – having an either internal or external pressure – takes it on herself.
If you, as a woman, don’t like playing foosball, but your partner does, why do you force this on yourself? Let him go and do it on his own, in the menatime you can deal with your own hobbies. There is no point in forcing these things.
If your partner insists you going with him all the time?
Step up for yourself. You need to insist that you also need your “me-time”, your own activities.
Let him learn how to enjoy these situations, while you are showing him through your own example how to do it.
In a healthy relationship the continuous grinding, pressure for meeting expectations, conditional love cannot be part of the daily routine.
The basis of the balanced, happy and lasting relationship is the connection of the people, who are individually both independent, loving and happy on their own as well. When they connect, that can be a relationship based on equality, respect, real love and understanding.
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