“Women only want money…” Is the stigma true?

I often hear men saying this sentence. That women around them only want money and that these women don’t care about anything else. Not even if the man is old, ugly, has a questionable personality, lack of integrity or whatever. Men often think that if women see money, it overrules everything else. Those men who say this sentence – as far as I can see – are convinced that all women are like this. And they also might explain their lack of success with women based on this factor.

But do women really want money and only money? No, dear Gentlemen, it is definitely not true.

Let’s see first of all that group of women, who are really addicted to money.

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What does money mean for them in their lives? It means that they can afford a good housing, a good car, nice clothes/shoes/bags, amazing vacations, exclusive restaurants and other programs, whatever they desire. But first and foremost, it gives them the social status and the sense of security. If we elaborate these latter two reasons from the psychological perspective, we can find some very interesting background reasons.

#1: Social Status

freestocks-_3Q3tsJ01nc-unsplash If a woman (or even a man) is addicted to social status, and throws away all other important things in life for that (like happiness, love, self-actualisation etc.) most probably it happens due to a deep inner wound of the soul.

Who wants to have a very important social status by sacrificing everything else in her life? The one, who has no solid inner self-confidence, self-evaluation, self-appreciation. She wants to have these increased by the people around herself, by those people, who are important, wealthy, glamorous. Through this, she can feel that she is one of them. Even if she is not, deep inside. But as she does not focus on the problem from the right direction (which would be solving it within herself), she tries to internalise it from outside. Which can actually work for a while, but definitely not on the long run. This is what I call the love-chocolates.

She misses something inside and takes it in from the outside – just like a piece of chocolate.

It is sweet, it is good, but then it melts away and she will need the next one. Just like drugs. And she will always need a bigger and bigger quantity to seemingly fill in the ever-growing emptiness inside. Just like the drugs again.

So, we can say, that those women, who want the money because it comes with a social status, would need to start to work on their own self-worth. They should be able to see how much they are worth on their own, without these over-appreciated shadows of others covering them.

#2: Sense of security

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If a woman wants the money, it can be because she thinks this is what security means. She can think, that one can only be safe, if they have a lot of money. But again, it comes from a deep past injury of the soul. Maybe when growing up, she had a very poor family, so that they couldn’t afford anything apart from the basic things for surviving life? Or maybe she came from a wealthy family, being conditioned all her childhood that money is everything and people are safe only if they have a lot of money? The point is, that this is a very wrong pattern.

What needs to be recognized here is that if someone wants security, it must not be made equal with money.

The concept of security needs to be diversified. What else can give her the sense of security? Having good friends, family, having her own job, having a 5-year plan for her life, having something she can believe in? Maybe believing in herself and her capabilities that she can manage whatever comes?

So, for this woman, instead of her sense of security having one leg to stand on (the money), we need to find the other many legs. The more legs it has, the more stable the sense of security will be.

And then of course, there are also those women, who are not addicted to money.

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Regardless of some men saying that ALL women only want money. Not all, believe me. A lot of women already have a healthy self-confidence, a diversified sense of security, they have purpose in life and vision for the future. These women want other things. They want stability, a trustworthy and caring partner, a happy relationship based on equality, they want mutual goals and prospects for a life together with the man they love and who loves them back the same way.

And what if you are a man, who always attracts women who only want money?

Think about yourself, what does this situation say about you? How is it about you? Maybe you, yourself give too much importance to money? Or maybe too little? Maybe you do not want a woman, who has her own goals in life, but you are more comfortable with someone who depends on you? Or maybe you are afraid deep inside to really be in a relationship, so you are constantly attracting those women, who are not the right partner for a real relationship? There can be many reasons.

The people we attract in our lives always show us the tasks we have with ourselves.

Once we change, the people around us will change too. If we change for the better, we will attract different people in our lives as before. So, Gentlemen, if you change your mindset about what is important in life, the new like minded people will find you.

So I hope this gives you a better insight into the female mind. If you are someone who believes women only want money, I hope you see why some do, what to do about it if you find yourself involved with her and how to attract women into your life with a healthier and more balanced outlook on life.

Till next time gentleman,

Dóri

happy couple