In the first part of the article I wrote about how you can recognize the Kings of Flirting and what typical female reactions can happen to this type of behavior. I also wrote about what motivates these men to behave such way – so that we can understand what is in the background of these situations.

Here, in the second part what follows is what one can do if he wants to leave his Kingdom of Flirting behind; and also, on the end of the ‘victim’ what the defense options can be. Well, let’s see!

What should the King of Flirting do?

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First of all, all my respect to you, King of Flirting, if you have already read the first part of the article and you are still continuing! This can mean that you got tired of this very energy-draining psychological game. Maybe you feel that you would like to live in a real, happy relationship. I completely understand you. Playing the role of the King of Flirting can be very exhausting.

The path you need to take – in case you already got tired and you want to change things – starts within yourself. As long as you cannot love and accept yourself completely, you will not be able to attract a partner in your life who can give these very same things to you.

In your mind try to find that person from your past, who planted the false idea in your mind and your heart that you are not lovable, that you are not enough. Take this topic to a professional person, with whom you can solve the emotional side of the story. This way you can start to build your inner solid self-esteem and self-love. This way, you will simply feel that you need to act less and less as a King of Flirting, it will not give you that much benefit as before. As you will not even need it that much. And this will be the path that will take you to a happy relationship, based on equality and real love.

What should the Woman do, who becomes the ‘victim’ of the King of Flirting?

First, observe yourself in the situation. How do you react?

Do you like the situation? Do you welcome these ‘unsolicited’ flirtations? If so, you probably need to deal with your inner solid self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love yourself.

Until you reach a healthy level of these within yourself, it can always happen that you will become dependent on the confirmations coming from the outside. And due to this, you can easily attract a King of Flirting or an extreme narcissistic person in your life. You certainly do not want that happen…

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Build your self-confidence and self-esteem, learn to love yourself the way you are. Along with not being perfect. I know, it is being said all over, that no one is perfect. But if this thought arrives to your emotional level as well, this way you can be sure that you are on the right path already!

If while facing a King of Flirting you wish this whole situation to end already, you have various options – for example exiting, ignoring or expressing.

Exiting

If you decide to take the easier path, simply exit the situation. Point out that you have to go now and leave the Flirt King alone. I understand that this is kind of an escape solution, but sometimes nothing else comes to your mind. If you are lucky, he will get the hint and will look for another ‘victim’. If you are not that lucky, you can still use one (or more) of the upcoming options.

Ignoring

If you feel that you can tolerate the situation relatively well and you don’t feel the urge to get out of it, you can also choose to simply ignore the behavior of the King of Flirting. You just don’t react to anything he says.

For the King of Flirting, his “bread” is the women’s reaction, that he provokes. Therefore, if he experiences no such reaction, it is more likely for him to leave you alone.

Expressing

By expressing, I mean that you concretely tell it to the King of Flirting that the fact, that he is so openly flirting with you, makes you uncomfortable, so you ask him to please stop this behavior with you.

If it feels right for you, you can add an explanation to it. For example: it is a business meeting, you have a boyfriend/husband, this is not your way of getting to know new people or anything else that is about you. But you need to know that it can easily happen that the King of Flirting will only be even more triggered by your explanation. Maybe he can start to blame you that “come on, who doesn’t like being flirted with, don’t be so stuck-up…” and so on. In these situations, keep it in mind that you are entitled to express if you don’t like someone’s behavior towards you – it doesn’t mean that you are stuck-up. The King of Flirting can also perceive your explanation as a call for him to try to convince you about why it is going to be good for you to stay in this situation with him. Well, it won’t be good for you in any way, let me tell you that right now. Most probably you will get tired and/or frustrated because of the pointless actions from the King of Flirting.

If you use the option of expressing, my best advice is to keep it short and firm. This is your best chance.

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I hope that everyone who needs it, can increase their inner solid self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love to the maximum of the healthy level. With this also avoiding to get into such situations – either as a King or Queen of Flirting or as their ‘victim’.

I send a lot of positive energy to everyone for this!

Dóri

Related articles:

The King of Flirting

3 do’s and don’ts of creating a great online dating profile

The ‘Anxious Monologist’ – 7 things every man can learn from my last (very) bad date

Top 5 epic dating fails of men – from a female perspective

One-night-stand with the Tinder

Extreme date with an extreme narcissist

Experiences of a Speed Dating

A real-life interesting chat talk

The psychological game of ‘floating’ through the example of my dating partner