In the first part of my article, I talked about stepping out into the sunny, energising spring and summer again. Moving from dark to light, from winter to summer, can also feel overwhelming. Because there is a big change coming again. But what if there are additional unexpected obstacles?
Lack of connection
Not being able to connect easily with people can also be a sign of being stuck in confinement. While this may have been perfectly easy before, it might have become alien to you by now. Which is actually not a surprise, as we’ve consciously made it alien to us over the past two years. Plus, we might be a little less connected to others during a winter period in itself, without any pandemic on the top of it. Add it all up, you may find that your human connections have depleted.
After all, for example many people have not been going into the offices to work in the last few years, and you haven’t met those people on a daily basis that you used to meet regularly. The number of your human interactions may have been reduced to mostly your family and close friends. And if your friends have also closed themselves away, you may not have been able to see them as much either.
However, humans are social creatures. They need connection, a sense of belonging. In small ways and in big ways too. That’s something that can be very scarce in a winter+pandemic period.
And to step out of that and reconnect easily with all kinds of people can be quite a difficult task. I have experienced this myself. For me, the not going to work started 4 years ago when I changed careers and became a full-time trainer and coach after my office job. I didn’t have to go to the same office day after day, although at that time, the work I had at least was face-to-face and I could travel around the world with it. However, even then I was working mostly from home when I wasn’t on the road. Then Covid came along and all my training and coaching work moved to the virtual space. And the most interesting thing is that even since then, 98% of the time my clients still request both training and coaching sessions virtually. Even though there is no longer any real justification for this. This shows as well, that others also find it difficult to break out of this confinement.
As through my work I still cannot be physically around people, I had to find my own way out of this situation. I was already feeling very overwhelmed by this situation, so I went to see a coach (yes, coaches see coaches too 🙂 ). It was during that conversation that I had a flash of what would be the solution for me.
Solutions for the lack of connection
For me, the solution to this problem was to do something completely different from what I normally do. Something where I meet people in person. And then I remembered one of my favourite places by the river Danube, called Kabin. As I wrote in a previous article, for me, Kabin is the place where I can find my inner centre after a stressful day. I’ve been coming here for years to relax, recharge, sit out with a laptop during the day to work, talk to friends. But now to really make a big break from the ordinary, the earlier “going out there” wasn’t enough. So, I have decided that when my free time allows, I will do bartending there (something I had never done before). Because it gives me everything I need in this situation now. On the one hand, the aforementioned getting out of the house, and on the other hand, the connection with people. This is my therapy now 🙂
It may seem strange that I have incorporated something so completely different into my life now. But this unexpected turn of events, this completely different energy is exactly what everyone who feels that they have not yet been able to leave behind the confinement of the last two years, needs.
When you get used to something over a long period of time – and then it turns out that it’s not really sustainable in the long term – you can either slowly break it down over a long period of time, or, on the contrary, you can break it down with a sudden action.
All right, I understand that not everyone can take on extra work on top of the already existing one. But you don’t necessarily have to. What’s important is that you find something to do that gives you energy, that really recharges you.
It could be a temporary, extra job, it could be a hobby. For example, a dance class, a craft class, learning to do anything you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done before. I was talking to a friend about this the other day and she told me about board game clubs. You go in, they play a different board game at each table, you join the one you like. It’s also a fantastic way to connect, have fun and recharge.
A few weeks ago, for example, I went out to volunteer quite a few times – I wrote about my experiences in this article. What I would like to mention about it, is how much this activity has given me. Energy and strength. It can also be one of those things that gets you out of the habit of being stuck in isolation.
If you’re in a position where you don’t have the spare cash for these extra things, then check out the options above.
After all, you don’t even need money for many of them. In fact, some may even bring in some money, for example a temporary job. And there are so many other options! You just need to find your own activity that recharges you, that works for you.
If you feel you don’t have time for that, think about how you spend your days.
Are you sure you have to do all of those things you spend your time with? Are you sure you have to do all of those things? If you can free up just a few hours a week, that is already sufficient. And a few hours of me-time a week is something that everyone deserves.
And if you feel like you don’t have the energy for this, it’s worth thinking about where your energy is going. Maybe you’re wasting it…
Focus more on yourself, allow yourself to be well. To do this, allow yourself to use your energy for your own benefit. And when you finally do go on one of these “recharge” programmes – although it may not feel like a good thing at first – notice how much extra energy you come home with. And keep that in mind every time you leave the house.
I wish you all to be able to get out of your physical, mental and emotional confinement as soon as possible!
Reconnecting to the outside world – after winter and Covid – 1st part
The pleaser syndrome: signs, disadvantages and the healing process
The trap of “…but what will others think”
Rising through resilience: Savio P. Clemente’s interview with Dóri Padla on the five things you can do to become more resilient during turbulent times
Toxic parents – Their typical sentences and the damage they cause
Changing yourself and your life – Why so painful?
Are you success-oriented or a failure-avoider?
Everyone can only see what they are ready for…
Expectations, that we should let go of
My own five stress relief methods
Cross this bridge only when you get there!
What are all these changes around us?
5 ways how visualisation can help you during a coaching session
5 things you can learn about yourself through your dog
As a grown-up becoming and Adult
The fear of spending time alone
The danger of the ’love-chocolates’
The Three Graces: self-evaluation, self-esteem, self-confidence
Helping others and accepting help
Starving for crumbs of attention
Do you think you don’t deserve it to be good?
Reasons of the self-confidence crisis and the recovery process